Barry Zito, you really f****ing suck!

I love Charles Barkley. Always have and always will. He has a very simple and perfect way of telling you that player A is garbage, without saying the words player A is garbage. Allow me to channel my inner Chuck: "First of all, I like Barry Zito, I do. I think he's a really good guy and all. He's just not very good." I like Barry Zito the guitar player. I like Barry Zito as a man who raises funds to help troops returning from battle. I like him when he gives interviews and talks openly about his inability to have success on the mound. I don't like him as a baseball player, anymore at least.

In 2000, when I first saw him wearing his pants high to reveal his bright yellow stir ups and white cleats, I thought he was goofy as hell. When I first saw that 12 to 6 curveball lock up an opposing hitter, I loved it. The first time I saw him strike out the side against The Angels and scream in the air "fuck yeah" even though the game really didn't have the true rivalry feel that came the season after, I knew I was going to love this guy. He was definitely different and I liked it.

As a member of the Oakland A's, Zito was the man. He was the quirky surfer guy with the weird hair and stoner vocabulary, but he was a winner. When he took the mound, whether it was game 3 of the Divisional series against the New York Yankees or game 84 against the Kansas City Royals, you knew he was going to give it everything he had, leave it all on the mound and the team had a great chance to win the game. He had that it factor. You couldn't explain what made him so great out there, but he just got it done. He wasn't the prototype pitching prospect that Kerry Wood and Mark Prior were. Six foot five, two hundred and twenty pounds of pure muscle and athletic ability. He was a humbled hippy who smoked pot, played his guitar in between starts and laughed at dick jokes in the dugout with the other guys. As I mentioned in my previous blog entry, Oakland doesn't pay guys all that well so he also had that going for him. He didn't have too much money to distract him from playing a kids game.

On December 29, 2006 San Francisco made Zito the highest paid pitcher in the history of major league baseball with a seven year $126 million contract. On December 30, 2006, the old Zito was lost forever. The new Zito had a different image, a different guitar, hell he probably got a different dog! None of that matters. What matters most is that he also changed the way he played baseball. He had a new throwing motion, a new wind-up and a new workout routine. He didn't throw his signature curve ball as often and started to rely more on his change up than Uncle Charlie. He pretty much took everything he did to become successful, wrapped it up in a nice little package, poured gasoline on it and lit the shit on fire!

I don't need to go into great detail about Zito's performance (or lack there of) nor do I need to give you a long list of statistics to back up the argument that Zito sucks right now and has since the moment he put on the black and orange jersey. Yeah, there have been a few bright spots here and there but let's get real. When you get a huge contract you increase the level of expectations. It happens to guys all the time. They get a giant contract and they are not the same guy anymore. They change everything that made them successful and often it doesn't work out all that well. Barry Zito has been a complete and total failure and it's time to cut the cord. Zito has three years left on his deal and he is owed $57.5 million. Handing him $57.5 million to get the hell out of San Francisco would be the best move Brian Sabean has made since he was handed the World Series trophy. I know it's not easy to think of handing over $57.5 million to make a player go away, but at this point I honestly believe it's not just a good option, it's the only option.